Seminar joke :)

Seminar joke

Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training.

Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked!

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

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Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

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School Principal

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."

SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."

MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."

SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."

MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."

SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"

MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

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Attitude Should be Positive

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"



This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything. But your attitude
should be positive

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

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American in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses। This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog। The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

Don't miss the last one which is the ultimate !!!

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings।

Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements।

When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls

What is the height of optimism ?
Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

Phone Call for Sehwag:
Indian Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife :"Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."
Indian Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"
Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.

Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before

a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA" .

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."
Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence? ". He replied "1947" and passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the indep

Disappointed sales manager of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East (Dubai) assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The sales manager explained, "When I got posted in Dubai, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem; I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand..... Totally exhausted and fainting.

Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The sales manager replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from


Right to Left..."

Sardaji Jokes

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train. Frnd: Y?

Srdr: Got upper berth.

 

Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?

 

Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

 

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Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

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A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.

 

A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

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Sardar-why r all these people running?

 

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

 

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

 

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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

 

Sardar:    The future tense is "u will go to jail".

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Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch

regularly. A man asks why he does this.   Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch

manager."

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 Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

 

After much thought he wrote :    Yes!

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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.

 

U knw  Why?

 

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.  Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what  take an umbrella and go.

 

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Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -

 

What will come first, Chicken or egg?  

 

O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

 

 

 

 

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Sardar wins 20 cr from  Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.    

Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

 

 

 

 

 

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Postman:-   I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet

 

Sardar:-       why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

 

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Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........Sardar

said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

 

  

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A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U

divide, U"VE 3 children?  Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

 

 

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Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his

sleep not screamin like  all d passengers in d car he was driving..

 

  

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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what

you     call modern art ?

 

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

 

  

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Sardar was writing something very slowly.

 

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

 

Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

 

 

 

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Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars

have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

 

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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the

morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

 

 

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Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.

 

Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

 

Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.

 

It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

 

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

 

 

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