An Indian in a U.S. school...

It was the first day of a school in US and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.


The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History.

Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up:

"Patrick Henry, 1775" he said.

"Very good!"

Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" said Chandrasekhar.

The te acher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.

Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians,"

"Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.

"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Chandrasekhar says, "Al Gore to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004."

The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're f**ked!"

And Chandrasekhar said quietly,

I think it was George Bush, Iraq, 2007."

English language

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.


Just Read It.

The Leave Applications; )

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

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This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
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Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
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From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."
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Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
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A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
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Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
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Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."
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Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
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Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
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Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

Salary Increase

HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS

FOR A SALARY INCREASE..?

    One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!

 
Dear Bo$$


In thi$ life, we all need  $omething  mo$t  de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$. We are worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat a nd  $ervice to your company ..
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I meant and re$pond  $oon.



Your$ $incerely,

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw a days, NOthing much has changed. You must have  NOticed that our company is NOt doing  NOticably well . NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have  NOthing more to add  NOw. You kNOw what I mean .


---- Your Boss

After Semester Exams..!! - Remember the golden days

1st Bench:
Hey the paper was tough... But I will get 95 da.. :)
2nd Bench:
Machi... 10 Marks out da.. :(
3rd Bench:
Mama.. Clear aayrum... :)
4th Bench:
Clear aanalum aagum :(
5th Bench:
Sure shot.. Sathyama out.. :)
Last Bench Rockers:
!
!

!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Machaan.. Invigilator sema figure daa... :) :) :)

Arranged or Love marriage...??????????????????????????????????

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,¡± You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love Marriages... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems... Gimme a break!!¡±

Osama is still alive

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice . Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Indian Intelligence (CBI) for help. Within a minute, CBI emailed the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'

Jokes.....

Joke 1:

A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex.
When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she (minister's wife) ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."

Joke 2:

What'd be the surname if the son born to a single father?

Ans: Eknathji.

What'd be the surname if the son born to three fathers?

Ans: Trivedi.

what if born to a suspense one?

Ans: Guptaji.

Joke 3:

While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.
The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."

Joke 4:

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"

Joke 5

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says,
"About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half."

The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says,
"Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks,
"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

Blog : http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

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Take the Internet to Go: Yahoo!Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos & more.

Think!!!!

A nice, little ,funny ,funniest……………

Once 3 Turtles decided to go on a picnic.

When they got there, they realized that they had forgotten the soda .

The youngest turtle said he would go home & get it if they wouldn't eat the snacks until he got back.

A week went by,

then a month ,

finally an year ,

the 2 turtles said 'oh, come on, lets eat the snacks'


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suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said 'if you do like this, I won't go !'

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

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TV dinner still cooling?
Check out "Tonight's Picks" on Yahoo! TV.

1 Teacher tells a student a=b, b=c implies a=c। Tell me an example. Student : I love u - u love your daughter - so I love your daughter.

2 Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" o"shoot himself"।

3 What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends।

4 A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity , Threat) Analysis। He said, my strength is my wife। My weakness is my neighbours wife। Opportunity comes when neighbour goes out।Threat comes when I myself go out

5 Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard.
Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?"