Real Fake Experiance ....

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Vella Reddy an Indian (Chennai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.

What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and findshimself with one other

candidate. Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'nalla erukiya macha'

The other candidate answers 'nalla erukanda mama'

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

Blog : http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

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Jokes.....

Joke 1:

A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex.
When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she (minister's wife) ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."

Joke 2:

What'd be the surname if the son born to a single father?

Ans: Eknathji.

What'd be the surname if the son born to three fathers?

Ans: Trivedi.

what if born to a suspense one?

Ans: Guptaji.

Joke 3:

While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.
The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."

Joke 4:

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"

Joke 5

A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says,
"About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half."

The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says,
"Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks,
"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

Blog : http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

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Sardars again...too good..... :)

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
***********************************************

Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
***********************************************

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
***********************************************

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
***********************************************

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
***********************************************
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
****************************** *****************

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
***********************************************

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
***********************************************

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
***********************************************

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
***********************************************

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
***********************************************

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
***********************************************

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

Blog : http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

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A Chiken Farmer and a Wowen

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""

What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.""

This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman."

What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?""

My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!""

What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.""

That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?""

I switched cocks," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Warm and Moist

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.


Copied From jokes.comedycentral.com/joke_of_day.aspx?adjustDate=12&id=4661

American tourist in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"

Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, “There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die.”

Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash.

When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, “Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you.”

Hillary said, “Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all.”

She was about to leave, but then she said, “Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?”

Bill replied, “That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in.”