Job Market in 2009

Arranged or Love marriage...??????????????????????????????????

Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.

The Indian man said to the American,¡± You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love...I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems."

The American said, "Talking about love Marriages... I'll tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated for 3 years. "After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems... Gimme a break!!¡±

Lucky Arab

When fuel prices go High

Osama is still alive

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message: 370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice . Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Indian Intelligence (CBI) for help. Within a minute, CBI emailed the White House with this reply:

"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

DO MEN REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.

'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'

'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'

'I remember that too' she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...

'I would have been released today.'

Good Sleep

As usual brilliant sardar

1 . Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

2 . How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so ?
He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend . He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard & comes to a conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When a Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610"

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse .
He writes a Love letter to her, " I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab . Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam.

Management Thinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Manufacturer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
Field service is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
Material Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, or not there work is over.
Q A is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby

Women are dangerous intelligent

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said
"Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for few months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman, they are dangerously intelligent !

என்ன கொடுமை சரவணன் இது

Vadivelu Comedy

Dubai
Dubai Kurukku santhu,
Vivekananda Street,
No 6

Vadivelu Friends comedy

Vadivelu Winner

Mannan rajini kavundamani

Just Jokes

3 Easy Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.
Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are ஹாப்பி

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

4.. Love your friends not their sisters.. Love your sisters not their friends.

5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE ச்பெசிபிக்

6. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life. If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

7.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE..

8. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY to GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness. Even after you pray, if you are still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

9. Why Government does NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

Award winning joke

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.


The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had
been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.


So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.



The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly,


"Do you know where God is, son?"


The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.


So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"


Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed,


"Where is God?!"


The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.


When his older brother found him in the closet, h e asked, "what happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
are in BIG trouble this time.

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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why Man Lie.....

Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man) If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it! "One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy. Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ." The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

Talking in Cell phone while Driving

First love is never Forgettable....! Must READ!!!

Read this and feel Ur love........!

Nice one.....read when you get time... :)....

I am Ashwin, a software engineer in a reputed company in Chennai. I am one of the luckiest guys in this world. The reasons being my loving wife, Deepa and my charming 7 years old daughter, Revathi. I live in an apartment in Vadapalani. I have to tell about my Wife. The most innocent, always smiling and caring. Even though she completed her Computer Science Engineering, she engineers only my family now. She respects me more than the God. Atleast once in a week she would go to Vadapalani Murugan Koil but I hardly accompany her even after her request. About my kid, the most naughty and will come up with millions of questions a day. My wife is more interested than me in answering those questions.

The incident happened a couple of weeks ago. One afternoon after a heavy lunch, when I was reviewing a CICS-DB2 project requirements, my phone rang.

Me: Hello, Ashwin here.
Satya: Hello Sir! I am Satya here. I am Deepa's friend. Can I speak to you for 2 minutes?
Me: Yeah. Go ahead.
Satya: I want to meet you today in person to tell you something which is important.
Me: About what?
Satya: Sir, I can tell you in person. Can you come to "Richie Rich" ice cream shop today around 6'o clock?
Me: Ok (with some hesitation)

Who is this guy? I googled my brain for a moment. Yes. I heard this name from my wife. This guy and my wife were in love during their college days. But this guy avoided and absconded in the last year of their engineering. My wife has never hidden anything from me. I know about her right from her childhood till our marriage, all about her friends, her nick names in schools & colleges, incidents happened and everything. The same way she confessed about her love also which she didn't do to her parents. But why does he want me to meet him now?....

Time passed by. "Should I meet him or leave it?". I could not complete my review of the requirements. While I was having a coffee, my phone again rang. It's my wife.

Deepa: Ashwin! My mother has come. Can you pick Revathi from school & come?
Me: Ok pa. I will pick up & come. Anything special from your mother?
Deepa: Nothing. Just like that she is visiting us.

I left the office by 5:00 to pick my child from the school. Every time I go to pick her we would go to "Richie Rich" ice cream shop. Revathi loves it so much. After picking up Revathi, we went to the shop. Revathi told, "Appa! Today I need bigggg icecream". I said OK. I ordered and Revathi was having the icecream when that guy appeared. Thin physic and gloomy face with dry eyes.

Satya: Hello Sir! I am Satya. Thanks for coming.
Me: Hi.
Satya: Hope you know about me. Deepa would have told. She never hides anything from their loved ones.
Me: (No answer. With worried face – Satya continued)
Satya: I know you would be surprised on my call. But this is my last wish!
Me: Last wish?
Satya: Even Deepa does not know why I left her even without telling her. I was diagnosed "Blood Cancer" when I was in the last year of engineering. The doctor fixed my last day that time itself. Unfortunately I had to live till this time (with a smile in his face)
Me: (No reaction)
Satya: I know that if I had said the same thing to Deepa, she would not have agreed to leave me. I know she was hurt but I wanted her to live happily. To avoid her contacting me by any chance, I did not tell anybody where I was leaving. But now I feel my last date has come. I need a favor from you Sir!
Me: Yeah. Tell me.
Satya: I want to see Deepa for the last time. I don't want her to see me. I will see her from a long distance. Could you please bring her to Vadapalani Murugan koil tomorrow evening?

(My mouth can utter only "YES" to his request)

Me: I don't know what to say! I feel very sorry for you. I will bring my wife tomorrow.
Satya: Thanks a lot Sir! I will remember this till I live! (laughing) Sorry! For a week or so!

He left the place. With a big sigh, I turned to my child and she was finishing her ice cream. Revathi asked, "who is that appa?". "He is your….hmm… my friend!". We returned home. As usual the day ended. Next day when I started to office, "Deeps! Today shall we go to Murugan koil?". Surprised but to tease me she told, "My mother told yesterday that now-a-days software engineers are under a great stress! Please do not think about something always. You can stay rest today!". I could not react to that. I just smiled and told, "Ok Deeps. We will leave by 6'o clock in the evening. I will pick Revathi & come".

I was waiting to start from the office. I reached home after picking up Revathi. It was 5:45.

Me: Deeps! Are you ready?
Deepa: haan!

After freshening, we started to temple. After reaching the temple, I could find him completely different in saint's dress. Nobody can recognize him. As usual I followed my wife in the temple and was listening all her old stories. She said she was very happy that I was coming with her to the temple. After sometime I could find Satya. I thought he left the place. With a great relief, I had dinner outside with my wife & kid and went home.

With a great amount of Satisfaction, I went to sleep. In the late night, I heard somebody sobbing in the balcony.

For the first time, I saw my wife crying alone, with tears in my eyes.

First love is never forgotten.

Life is too short. Act today. Do all that makes you happy. Now.

http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

If you cant wake him up

Help me save the turtles

Hi Just4rFun,

I've just written to Ratan Tata asking him to not to go ahead with building a port in Dhamra, Orissa, dangerously close to one of the world's largest sea turtle nesting grounds for the Olive Ridley Sea Turtle. I think its a good idea for Mr. Tata to move the port to another location rather than endanger the turtles.

By living up to the Tatas' environmental legacy, Ratan won't just save the highly-endangered Olive Ridley Turtles, he will also end up making Tata a better company.

The only problem is that I can't bring about that change alone. I need help from lots of people, especially you.

Please do what I've done. Write directly to Ratan by clicking here

Thanks a million,
as_prabahar@yahoo.com

A letter from a sardarni mother 2 her son

A letter from a sardarni mother to her son.

My dear Jagjit,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love -
Mom. P.S.:
Jagjit,
I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.
__._,_.___

Understand the problem better before taking a harsh action

The train has started moving. It is packed with people of all ages, mostly with the working men and women and young college guys and gals. Near the window, seated a old man with his 30 year old son. As the train moves by, the son is overwhelmed with joy as he was thrilled with the scenery outside..

"See dad, the scenery of green trees moving away is very beautiful"

This behavior from a thirty year old son made the other people feel strange about him. Every one started murmuring something or other about this son." This guy seems to be a krack.." newly married Anup whispered to his wife.

Suddenly it started raining... Rain drops fell on the travelers through the opened window. The Thirty year old son , filled with joy " see dad, how beautiful the rain is .."

Anup's wife got irritated with the rain drops spoiling her new suit.
Anup," cant you see its raining, you old man, if ur son is not feeling well get him soon to a mental asylum..and don't disturb public henceforth"


The old man hesitated first and then in a low tone replied " we are on the way back from hospital, my son got discharged today morning , he was a blind by birth, last week only he got his vision, these rain and nature are new to his eyes.. Please forgive us for the inconvenience caused..."


The things we see may be right from our perspective until we know the truth. But when we know the truth our reaction to that will hurt even us. So try to understand the problem better before taking a harsh action.

Life is too short. Act today. Do all that makes you happy. Now.

http://sharpurdotnet.blogspot.com/

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