Monday, October 8, 2007

Real Fake Experiance ....

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Vella Reddy an Indian (Chennai) guy.
Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave.2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'
Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.
Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.
Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo – Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Reddy says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and findshimself with one other
candidate. Everyone else has gone.
Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'
Calmly, Reddy turns to the other candidate and says 'nalla erukiya macha'
The other candidate answers 'nalla erukanda mama'


Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741



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Jokes.....

Joke 1:
A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex.
When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she (minister's wife) ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."


Joke 2:
What'd be the surname if the son born to a single father?
Ans: Eknathji.
What'd be the surname if the son born to three fathers?
Ans: Trivedi.
what if born to a suspense one?
Ans: Guptaji.
Joke 3:
While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.
But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.
A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.
The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."
Joke 4:
Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games of chess to pass the time.
They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends
dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"
Joke 5
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About 2 hours."
The guy leaves.

A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around at the shop full of customers and says,
"About 3 hours." The guy leaves.

A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About an hour and half."

The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says,
"Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks,
"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "Your house!


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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Sardars again...too good..... :)

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
***********************************************


Sardar at bar in New York.
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
***********************************************

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
***********************************************

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at
night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light
is not needed!!!
***********************************************


2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
***********************************************
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do register marriage
and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post
office....
****************************** *****************


Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and
says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
...... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
***********************************************

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
***********************************************


2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
***********************************************


A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating.......
***********************************************

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the
exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father
in the essay and>it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,
SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE
FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
***********************************************

Interviewar: what s ur qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do u mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
***********************************************


Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......



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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Chiken Farmer and a Wowen

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""

What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.""

This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman."

What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?""

My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!""

What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.""

That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?""

I switched cocks," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Warm and Moist

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.

MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.

CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.


Copied From jokes.comedycentral.com/joke_of_day.aspx?adjustDate=12&id=4661

Friday, July 6, 2007

American tourist in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'
The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."
The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."
Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"

Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, “There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die.”
Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash.
When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, “Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you.”
Hillary said, “Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all.”
She was about to leave, but then she said, “Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?”
Bill replied, “That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in.”

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Greatness of Sardarjis........


Greatness of Sardarji’s (Not a joke!!!!!)


"Hello friends!! Well, jayant , my friend, told me the following incident which I wish to share with you. It has had a deep impact on my thinking.

In the diwali vacation, Jayant and his couple of friends had gone to Delhi .
They rented a taxi for local sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardar, and boys being boys, Jayant and his pals began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to insinuate the old man.
But to their surprise, the fellow remained unperturbed.
At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid up the hire-charges. The Sardar returned the change. Moreover, he gave each one of them one rupee extra and said, (in Hindi, of course),

''Son, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in a very bad taste. Still, I don't mind coz I know that you are young blood and are yet to see the world. But I have just one request. Here I am giving you one rupee each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this city."

Jayant continued," That one rupee coin is still with me. I couldn't find a single Sardar begging on the streets of Delhi ."

Friends, we all love sardar jokes. But the fact of matter is that Sikhs are one of the most prosperous and diversified communities in the world. The secret behind their universal success, according to me, is their willingness to do any job with utmost dedication. A Sardar will drive a truck or set up a roadside garage or a dhaba, but he will never beg on the streets.


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Friday, June 8, 2007

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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Nice story ....do read it....

A great note for all to read, it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you." Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."




On Decision Making

Very good indeed to read and follow!!!



A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused. Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange. You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make................

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Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.


While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

"Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right."

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.



Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741

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Wednesday, May 9, 2007

jaxtr me!

I am using jaxtr, and if you also sign up, we can talk for free on the phone at any time.

-Prabahar

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Seminar joke :)

Seminar joke

Not too long ago, a large seminar was held for ministers and reverends in training.

Among the facilitators were many well-known motivational speakers. One such speaker boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked!

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It was a bit foggy to him.

Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

His congregation sat shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

*********

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste



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Saturday, April 14, 2007

School Principal

MOM : "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON : "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM : "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON : "One, all the chilldren hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM : "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON : "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM : "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school


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Friday, April 13, 2007

Attitude Should be Positive

Father : "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father : "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next - Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father : "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father : "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case...ok"



This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing,You can get Anything. But your attitude
should be positive


Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741



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Saturday, April 7, 2007

American in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses। This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog। The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

Don't miss the last one which is the ultimate !!!

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings।


Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements।


When would Agarkar have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling

What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.

How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?

Try giving them two innings to begin with, then try three and so on.

What is the Indian version of a hat-trick?
3 runs in 3 balls

What is the height of optimism ?
Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.

Phone Call for Sehwag:
Indian Team Manager : "Hello"(over Phone)
Wife :"Can I talk to Sehwag, this is his wife."
Indian Team Manager:"Sorry, he is just going to bat"
Wife:"No Problem Manager, I will Hold on"

Friday, April 6, 2007

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.

Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.

He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.

But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc.

Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before

a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

PVNR is asked to spell "INDIA" and he does it correctly.

Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND" and he too passes.

It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA" .

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.

He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and passes.

Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.

Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."
Tough one. He fails again.

Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history

Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence? ". He replied "1947" and passed.

Advani is asked "How many people died during the indep
Disappointed sales manager of Coca Cola returns from his Middle East (Dubai) assignment.

A friend asked, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The sales manager explained, "When I got posted in Dubai, I was very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there. But, I had a problem; I didn't know to speak Arabic. So, I planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert sand..... Totally exhausted and fainting.

Second, the man is drinking our Cola and Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The sales manager replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from


Right to Left..."

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Sardaji Jokes

Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train. Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
 
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
 
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..
 
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
--------------------------------------------------------
 
 
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
 
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
-------------------------------------------------------
Sardar-why r all these people running?
 
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
 
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
 
Sardar:    The future tense is "u will go to jail".
--------------------------------------------------------
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the branch
regularly. A man asks why he does this.   Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch
manager."
--------------------------------------------------------
 Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
 
After much thought he wrote :    Yes!
--------------------------------------------------------
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
 
U knw  Why?
 
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...
-------------------------------------------------------
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.  Servant: It"s already raining. Sardar: So what  take an umbrella and go.
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
 
What will come first, Chicken or egg?  
 
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
 
 
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from  Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.    
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
 
 
 
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
Postman:-   I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
 
Sardar:-       why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........Sardar
said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.
 
  
--------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U
divide, U"VE 3 children?  Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly in his
sleep not screamin like  all d passengers in d car he was driving..
 
  
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you     call modern art ?
 
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
 
  
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
 
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
 
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
 
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
 
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars
have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..
 
--------------------------------------------------------
 
  
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the
morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
 
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
 
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
 
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
 


Samiyappan Prabakar ,Mobile : +971 50 9042741
 
 


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