A Chiken Farmer and a Wowen

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!""

What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating.""

This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman."

What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?""

My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!""

What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs.""

That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?""

I switched cocks," he replied.

She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"

Warm and Moist

MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy some cat food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well... where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm... It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.


Copied From jokes.comedycentral.com/joke_of_day.aspx?adjustDate=12&id=4661

American tourist in Mexico

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"

Bill Clinton and Hillary got married

Back when Bill Clinton and Hillary got married Bill told her, “There's one thing I want you to know. There's a box under my bed and I don't want you to look in it until I die.”

Hillary agreed to this but, over the years, the curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked in it. She found three beer cans and 1.5 million dollars in cash.

When she asked Bill what the beer cans were for, he replied, “Well, those are for all the times I've cheated on you.”

Hillary said, “Well, that's not bad after all these years and you being a politician and traveling and all.”

She was about to leave, but then she said, “Hey, Bill, what about the 1.5 million dollars?”

Bill replied, “That's for all the times the box got full and I had to cash the cans in.”